two word phrases i'll never have to say again:

I'm Pregnant!
I Do.
I Can't.
I Hate.

Where is home?!?!

I have heard it mentioned too many times over the last 6 months that I am miserable being here, here being West Point, MS. Miserable is not really the correct term. Because what most people fail to know and others fail to realize is that like charlie, I am winning! I am winning because I am alive! I am winning because I am beautiful! I am winning because I am a good mother! I am winning because I make good decisions, most of the time! I am winning because I am honest! I am winning because I am not a thief! I am winning because I love my family and friends! I am winning because I am trying harder each day to do better!
I must admit, winning is not all there is. I can tell you that winning was so much easier once I got comfortable in my own skin. Every wrinkle, every sad brown spot, every little eyebrow I missed when I plucked them. I got comfortable. I almost got dead a couple of times, maybe that is why I decided to get so comfortable. Am I 100% happy with how this skin is laying on my bones? Nah, but I also got the right to be a little lazy!
I got love too! I got more love than even I can realize! I have people that I would never thought loved me loving me right at this very minute! I promise you, I am well prayed for! Know how I know? WAVING AT YOUR SILLY ASS CUZ RIGHT UP THERE I SAID I ALMOST GOT DEAD TWO TIMES!! Prayer Works!
I got a husband beside me that worships me! Is he perfect?? ARE YOU!?!?!??!?! Me either. But what he is, is the most loving, caring, giving man that I have ever known. He makes my heart skip a beat every time I look at him! And for me, that makes the day worth living! God bless me and give me 100 more years with him, PLEASE!
So as to where home is and my miser-ability factor? Home is where I sit. It is where I sleep. It is where I work. It is where I worship. It is where my husband thrives. It is where my dreams can come true. It is here. It is there. It is across the street from somewhere. For today, it is West Point, MS and I will make the most of it.

I'm Coming Home.

Parties by Mrs Smith, not just Passion Parties, but life changing parties. As a nationally certified massage therapist, I have the knowledge to help you take your passionate moments to a whole new level! While the toys are amazing, most people don’t realize that we have an entire line of skin care products! Check out my website www.mrssmith.yourpassionconsultant.com and look at the Romanta Therapy line! Not only does it keep your skin amazing feeling, these products are LOADED with pheromones! Yep lotion that will get ya....yeah!!! You know! ;)

I am really excited about my growing business! Please help me get the word out! Even if you’re not ready to host a party, but know someone who would like to...LET ME KNOW! I will be delighted to give you a little “happy” for the Love you’ve shown me!

GUYS!!! Yeah you! I know what your woman wants!!! You think it’s impossible to take her breath away after all this time? NO WAY! I can help you put a few tricks back in your bag :)

So...again www.mrssmith.yourpassionconsultant.com is where you’ll find me. Use the shopping cart, your items will come straight to your house! Email me with any questions! And YES I’m always looking for business partners! Life is always a Party when when you are blessed to be a Passion Parties ® Independent Consultant!

LOOKING FOR A DIRECTION!!!

OK, so it boils down to this. I KNOW IF I SAY THIS ENOUGH TIMES, IT WILL HAPPEN!!!! I just don't know which way to number the goals. Either
#1. I WANT TO DO PASSION PARTIES FULL TIME, SO THAT I CAN AFFORD TO STOP WORKING AND FOCUS ON GOALS #1 & #2!!!
#2. I WANT TO OPEN MY OWN RESTAURANT! PERIOD! I want this so bad, but have no idea where to start! Anyone wanna sit down with me and help write a business plan so I can apply for some grant money and figure out WHERE this is going to take place????




Now on to the mundane, My Lent "goal" is going well. I must admit, I have "peeped" at Facebook a time or two, but have resisted the urge to place any posts or comments! So I feel that I am doing pretty okay! :)

With a Tear In My EyE

Oprah done gone and done it again. She is the queen at making a person cry! Today, her audience was filled with 200 grown men. All of whom were victims of sexual abuse as children.
Have you ever stopped to think about the harm being done to our young women is being done to our young men as well? As a mom of 4 boys, let me say I will make it my business to ask the hard questions. To ask about their private lives. To be involved where it is not appropriate. I will do what I must to keep my young men safe, innocent, and whole.
As a victim of abuse myself, I understand how difficult it is to come forward. I understand what it is like to be a teenager and feel that no matter who you tell what happened to you, they won't believe you. I remember going to bed at night, wondering if I even believed myself. My youth and innocence were taken from me. I felt like I had no choice but to be a 'sexual being' in order for people to like me, in order for people to want to be around me, in order to survive. How wrong I was. Even to this day, those memories creep back in to my head. Even to this day, sometimes I don't feel worthy of the love I know I deserve. Even to this day, I feel robbed, dirty, scrutinized, and out of place because of a past that few know of.
Stand Up Men and Women! Stand Up Young Children! Stand Up Old Person! Stand Up Every One! You are an amazing human being! God doesn't make mistakes, but please know that this earth is the devils play ground! What has happened to us was not because God forgot about us! It was not because we deserved it! It was because sometimes sick bastards must cross our paths and there was nothing at all we could do about it!
I love you, and most importantly, I finally Love ME!!!!!!

Day 2

Lent began yesterday and as an amazing Non-Catholic, I in all my wisdom have decided to "give up" Facebook. Yes, It is something that takes time from my life where I could be doing something more constructive, productive, engaging, something mo better for myself! What have I done so far to be mo better....smashed chick peas and made hummus, and homemade pita bread chips to go with it. Smoked dead animals over pecan wood for dinner last night and made some spicy nuts for the munching...gobble gobble gobble. Today I will see if there is a workout session in my world ready to be geared up and got! Don't be so quick to judge....even a phat girl needs to work out :)

Even though I wonder what I'm "missing" over there on the facyspacey's.....I can do this :)

Have a blessed day y'all!

Lent again.

Giving up Facebook for Lent. Not so sure my life will ever be the same. Guess I will be here a lot! Although, that is not the idea. This just isn't as much my style as short, to the point statements. We'll see how it goes :)

So as of Wednesday March 6th, I will be FB Free, for as long as I can stand it.